new mantra.

i've made a descision.

not like, a descision in the sense that i've come to a conclusion, but in the way that i've made a choice.

i will not live work.
i will love life.

i'm aware how obvious that sounds, but choices are harder than one might think.
it requires more steps back than people are often willing to make.
are you willing to make less money?
are you willing to do without?
are you willing to lose?

i am.
at least, i am now.

yes, we are a flood town...

Peterborough, land of the notorious floods of 2006 & 2007 is still above water, for the most part, but people are getting leery. Massive melts are threatening some downtown areas.
This is the back half of the patio at the hotel... good thing the patio doesn't open until May 1st!
Somehow, I think these kis were having more fun than I was. But thats Okay, because I was dry and clean. Thats always what matters the most for me. Clean and Dry!!
Did you see that bridge? it goes right into the water... Safety first people!
This is part of the price we pay for global warming. Conserve energy, waste less, and donate your time and money to environmentally sound and green projects and causes. Also, I guess its the price we pay for having a river and lake in the middle of the downtown core...

trials.

I'm very conscious of living in the digital world.

I blog about work a lot. A LOT. but am very cautious about what I say and reveal. As much as I love my job, I must acknowledge that i work in a corporate entity.

So it is with a heavy hand of an editor that I type this...

Today was a BAD day. I won't go into a great amount of detail. The work itself was fine. The pace was fun, the work fulfilling. But very place of employment has a person who insists on making things difficult. Who refuses to concede, whether right or wrong, who lives off of snide comment and passive aggression. Despite my best efforts, this person got the better of me. Not to their face, although I tried to explain my position and that of what was percieved as the greater good, but behind closed (refridgerator) doors I lost my shit.

I'm going to have to try harder, but I have dificulty in moving on when I know I'm right. It's not that I can't just leave things be, if this person were only affecting temselves, I'd have no problem. They ae affecting 3 to 4 seperate but related departments. But with each keystroke, my stress dies back, and I get closer to closure.

Tomorrow will be a better day.

Tomorrow will be a good day.

Drea

So, I think that it's about time I admit that this romantic entanglement is more in my head than hers.
I've told her how I feel, and what I think, and she agrees, but does nothing.
It's too difficult to be around her, too hard to still be friends.
Yet there's nothing I'd want more than to see her, and talk to her everyday.
GAH!
when did turning 24 equate to being 14?!?

Mellancamp

So, I survived another birthday. My 23rd was the birth of "Classy on the Inside" and as far as events. it was one of the best birthday's I've ever had.

(23rd Birthday!)

It was such an outpouring of love and support from such a vast array and group of friends. It was also the catalyst for chang ein my life. I realized, that as much as I've been alone, and done everything on my own for the last 4 years, I still had people willing to help me, and to listen, to critique and to comfort. It also didn't hurt that we got our party on that night in such a manner that there was no class left on the outside at all.

It started a shift from the talk, and idea or change to the action of change. Which has made this last year so much harder, and so much more fulfilling than I could have hoped for. Thanks to anyone reading for that. I'm a better man for all of you.

(24th Birthday!!)

So this year, for my birthday, I took a little trip to Ottawa. I was in the city for EXACTLY 24hrs and 17min. And I had a complete blast. These people are friends in the greatest sense of the word. Generous and caring, kind and beautiful. Honest. Trustworthy. So how else should we celebrate than in a private box at a Tom Cochrane & John Mellancamp concert! Classic rock at its best, the kind of show where you wait for one song in particular, but for all the time in and around that song, you are reminded of so many other songs that have been a soundtrack to precious moments of your life. If you've read this blog for a while, you will know how much live music means to me. Everything around me fell away. The stress, the stiffness from the bus ride up, the music sort of wrapped around me and time became as fluid as the notes in the air. I would swear to God that we were only at ScotiaBank Place for 10min.
(Life is a Highway)
(Jack & Diane)
Upon my arrival home Sunday evening, a group of 12 of us went to Matsu on Park for a Sushi Birthday Dinner. I love the food here, the quality and care is on par with any of the best sushi restaurants in a bigger metropolitan city. It's hidden from view, off of any main street here in Peterborough, so most students are unaware that they have more than one sushi option. It was such a good dinner, filled with laughing, and reminicing. I've known all of these people since i was in ninth grade, and we still get along like thieves. We've come along way from dinner's at chain restaurants, and to a degree I'm going to take some credit. I've pushed their palates for almost a decade, so I think the Swiss Chalet celebration is on its way out.

(Me & Mr. Matsu)

I hope that this theme will continue throughout my twenties, I am in my mid-twenties now, the first birthday to sufficiently freak me out. Looking back though, I don't see much of a change, and the change I do see, is easily for the better.

Mazel Tov!

:-)

i don't know what it was, but today i knew, i knew, that every smile i gave and every smile i was given was genuine.

fluidity of kharma

Today will be fun.
I went out last night to shoot some stik with the guys, a thursday night tradition i've been missing a lot lately due to work. Made the effort because cluper leaves for czech very soon. A great adventure for him, but a serious loss for our crew.
I got solid sleep and solid progress made in my book.
Soon I will be getting to hawk trimmed and such.
Then a meeting at the hotel with my boss and the head of the culinary program at Sir Sanford Fleming College.
Then out for dinner, RARE, the newest kid on the block here, and from word of mouth, and excellent gourmet steakhouse.
Plus, today is payday... and I have all my bills up to date!
Money to play around with!!
Psych! Money to put towards a downpayent on a house.
Seriously. Within two years I will own my own home.
Good times always lead to good things.
Peace.

turn the page

2007 saw...
The beginning of "classy on the inside" with my 23rd birthday extravaganza.
It saw the Carleton Charity Ball weekend in Ottawa.
It saw me getting my fab apartment, the first time I've truly lived on my own.
It saw new friends becoming a significant part of my life.
It saw me quitting my job of seven years.
It saw me happy at work with my new job, in my line of interest.
It saw debt reduction.
It saw honesty and openness for the first time in as long time.
It saw the multi colours, the Jew-fro, crew cut, Mohawk and beard.
It saw contacts and a drop of 60lbs.

2008 will see...
The resolve to drop another 40lbs.
The further drop in debt.
My return to school.
Travel, for the first time in my life.
More honesty, more friends, more freedom.
The resolve to cook more, if that's even possible.
The resolve to keep a visual record of my life.
A clean house. Literal and Figurative.

My heartfelt best to all of you in the new year!!

at first i was afraid...

(not really)
this is just a quick not to say that i survived the 22 days straight of working, as well as the endless days of double shifts that came at recent. tomorrow is my day off work. whatever shall i do? other than come to dreams at 9ish and go online to see what you all have suggested...